So, as a single 30 year-old lady, I'm getting to the point in my life where I feel like all the money I make goes to other people. And by other people I mean my girl friends. And by girl friends, I mean, my closest girl friends and those that I'm not even that close with. It's not at all that I'm bitter about it by any means, it's just that I'm kind of sick of it.
I'm sick of saving my money to write a check for a wedding gift, or to pick up a quick $40 bridal shower gift or spend $300 on a flight for a bachelorette party. I'm sick of having to give $20 every time someone in the office gets married, so we can get some cupcakes. I want to be able to spend $100 on myself for a massage or an acting class instead of giving a gift to someone else. It seems like every other week, it's someone else's bridal shower, bachelorette party, or wedding. And it's just getting more and more excessive. When my friends started getting married at 24/25, it was new and exciting. And now at 30, the first batch of married girls are getting divorced and the last batch are getting hitched, hopefully until death do them part. As for me, I'm glad I haven't been married so that I'm not divorced. I'd rather be completely free of responsibility at this moment. Is that horrible to say? Regardless, many of my weekends are spent attending these events, some fun and some boring as all hell. Okay, some of the bachelorette parties and weddings are totally kick-ass and worth every penny spent. I love my friends dearly and want to support them through the important times in their lives but as I make my way to every bridal shower there is, it really has made me think about the whole idea of a bridal shower and just how anti-feminist it really is.
I just can't get over the whole idea that a couple decides to get married and then they register for everything society (or Macy's, Bed, Bath and Beyond, Bloomies, etc.) says makes their "home" complete. It's just like this 1950's idea of the perfect housewife that needs everything to cook and clean for her husband. And nothing has changed since then, has it? Women still take their husbands to register for household items and then we follow through with a bridal shower in which only women are invited to sit around and eat cake and watch the bride open the gifts... which as all women know, is dreadfully boring. Even the bride is bored. I mean, seriously, can anyone say that it's fun? And guys are completely off the hook. They don't have to attend these showers. They get to drink beer, go to Vegas and show up. I doubt that they are remotely excited about registering unless included are things like camping equipment, a shopvac or power tools, which are even totally gender-bias items.
I just cannot grasp this bridal shower idea and think of it as something outdated and totally anti-feminist. But, the only thing that I do understand is that the only way you can receive all the things you need for your home is to have a bridal shower. Otherwise, that crap costs so much money and what newly married couple can afford that stuff? Although, I would never use half the stuff that I see my friends receive and I know for a fact, that they don't use half of it themselves. It's just stuff that collects dust.
I just wish that something would change in 2010 with all this and I know that it has simply become a tradition in America. Nothing will ever change with this bridal shower tradition, except as couples decide to register for less or to not register at all. And I guess I will just never understand it. An old co-worker of mine from England asked me what I was doing for the weekend and when I responded that I had to attend a bridal shower, she asked me what it was. Apparently in England, they have their stag or hen parties and the wedding and call it a day. It's not all-inclusive--you get married, you get hooked up with all the supplies to be married.
I basically have realized that the only way I could provide for myself with a home that has a comfy duvet, matching towels, and a waffle maker is to either get a better job and make more money... or get married. If you get married, you get it all. If you're single, you don't get jack. Which is fine with me, except that I don't have half the things that my married friends have. But it just seems like in America, we only celebrate you if you decide to get married, if you are part of a couple. This rite of passage seems to determine what you have in life and how people view you...and it just seems so outdated to me. Why don't we celebrate individuals and celebrate achievements as much as we celebrate marriage?
